(910): I’m not 100% on this, but I’m pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
(339): i’m high and 74% sure there’s a monster in my closet
617. Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned.
(515): Why can’t we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
616. The hedgehog can never be buggered at all and is, in fact, a kind of flower. (suggested by end-users-suck)
(443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I’m mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
(206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself “The Statue of Puberty”. People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
(my lords and ladies, let me introduce you to our new December feature: texts from last Hogswatch. because why shouldn’t we mix ‘texts from last night’ and Discworld? we most definitely should. posts like that will appear throughout December, until
ChristmasHogswatch. hope you’ll like it :3. also, feel free to delete it if you reblog.)
615. Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It’s good for the hygiene of the brain.
614. It’s best to look to Authority for orders and then filter those orders through a fine mesh of common sense, adding a generous scoop of creative misunderstanding and maybe even incipient deafness if circumstances demanded.
613. Music with rocks in it won’t fade away.