Candles: person A has a kink for candles. He/she also believes that anything can be a dildo if you are brave enough. They try out this theory on person B. They end up in a hospital.
Candy canes #1: character A posts a picture of candy canes on his/her account on a social platform of your choice. 5 minutes later, he/she receives anon hate messages from internet social justice fighters ('Candy canes? Are you disrespecting disabled people?!?!!? I bet these aren't vegan candy canes!!!!!'). Person B tries to defend person A, but both of their accounts get blocked and can’t send Christmas messages to 400+ of their friends.
Candy canes #2: Person A uses the line “Is that a twelve-inch candy cane in your pocket or you’re just happy to see me?” Person B dares person A to find out. Turns out it is really just a massive candy cane.
Candy canes #3: Person A gets arrested for handing out free candy canes to kids and Person B has to bail him/her out. But Person B doesn’t bail person A out and Person A spends Christmas in jail. They never see each other again.
Christmas tree #1: Your characters buy a tree for their flat, but unfortunately it’s infested with spiders. Both of your characters are afraid of insects and none of them is willing to either get rid of the spiders or the tree. They spend Christmas in a hotel room.
Christmas tree #2: Person A ties person b up in a Christmas tree and forgets all about him/her because person a becomes busy preparing Christmas dinner. Person B is not happy about it. It’s their last Christmas together.
Christmas ornaments: Person A tells person B that he/she will spend the evening on making Christmas ornaments. Person B comes home earlier that day, only to find person A playing with person B’s best friend’s balls.
Fireworks: Character A decides to prepare a small firework show for character B. Unfortunately, they get is a ticket for disrupting curfew and scaring animals living in the park.
Snow: Your characters’ car get caught in a snow storm. It’s a not a cute fic wherein your characters cuddle/share body heat/shag and survive the cold night. Let’s be real here. It’s too cold and they die.
Wet socks: person A has wet socks and forgets to change them, which results in a cold. It’s not cute or adorable and there’s nothing nice about it. Instead of leading to person B fussing over person A, it leads to general annoyance and misery on both parts.
Wrapping paper: person B’s cat destroys all the wrapping paper in the house. Because fuck you, that’s why.
fireplace: character A doesn’t know how to make fire properly and sets the entire place on fire. person B comes to a burnt down home and they have no place to eat Christmas dinner.
Christmas eve: your characters get annoyed with their families and the forced Christmas cheer - and with each other.
gingerbread: character A reads on the internet that putting gingerbread spices in one anus’ is a good cold medicine* and tries it out on person B who’s sick. *it isn’t
ice skating: your characters go ice-skating, but things go wrong and one of them ends with cut off fingers.
hot chocolate: one of your characters spills hot beverage on themselves and ends up with second degree burns and has to spend Christmas in hospital.
loneliness: person A uses a dumb Christmas pick-up line on person B. It doesn’t work. They never speak to each other again.
tinsel: your characters use tinsel for bondage. Shhhh, it makes perfect sense. Tinsel for bondage.
christmas lights: your characters use plugged in Christmas lights for bondage. unfortunately, the lights short circuit and one person gets electrocuted. what is more, the short circuit causes the whole district to lose power and many families spend their Christmas evening in darkness and cold.
yes, I know. I suck. 2 months without an update and before that, the blog wasn’t updated nearly as often as it should be. there’s no other explanation to it than the previous loudly stated fact that I suck. I am sorry and I promise that I’ll try not to be such an lazy ass in the future.
anyway, thank all of you who still follow this blog, even though it hasn’t been updated in ages. that’s so nice of you. thank you once again.
I changed the theme, so you may want to check it out and say if it’s to your liking and if you not, feel free to say what bothers you (too bright colours? or maybe too small font?) and I’ll see what I can do about it. if you’re looking for the tags page, it’s behind the ‘iii’ on the sidebar.
okay. I think that for now it’s all. once again: thank you for sticking around. you’re really cool.