618. Do what seems like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible.
She wasn’t sure how to say “Lobsang and I want you in her life.”
She couldn’t get “my parents made a mistake by cutting you out of my life and I am not going to do the same with her” out of her mouth.
(Because they were doing what they thought was best and they loved her and she loves them still)
All she could do was show up, unannounced, a month after their daughter was born, stroll into his office and plunk her child down into his lap.
"Hello Grandfather. I thought it was time for you to meet Magda."
He looked down at the baby in his arms, impossibly tiny, and then to her, and he couldn’t cry, of course not, skeletons obviously had no tear ducts….
But he wasn’t saying anything either, just stroking Magda’s dark hair, bone curling around the streak of white that was already showing.
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, he finally said, and within that phrase carried the meaning that he understood what was being offered.
"I know," Susan said,
(910): I’m not 100% on this, but I’m pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
UNDERNEATH THE SKIN THERE’S A HUMAN
Discworld // Angua von Überwald fanmix for iwhospeakawkwardly
wolf first aid kit // ljoss forest swords // feral love chelsea wolfe // itchy teeth marika hackman // woman alessi’s ark // shapeshifter elephant // dark turn of mind gillian welch // human daughter // before i ever met you banks // wild creatures neko case
(339): i’m high and 74% sure there’s a monster in my closet
617. Not all questions are answered, but fortunately some answers are questioned.
prompts gone wrong: Christmas prompts #3
Candles: person A has a kink for candles. He/she also believes that anything can be a dildo if you are brave enough. They try out this theory on person B. They end up in a hospital.
Candy canes #1: character A posts a picture of candy canes on his/her account on a social platform of your choice. 5 minutes later, he/she receives anon hate messages from internet social justice fighters ('Candy canes? Are you disrespecting disabled people?!?!!? I bet these aren't vegan candy canes!!!!!'). Person B tries to defend person A, but both of their accounts get blocked and can’t send Christmas messages to 400+ of their friends.
Candy canes #2: Person A uses the line “Is that a twelve-inch candy cane in your pocket or you’re just happy to see me?” Person B dares person A to find out. Turns out it is really just a massive candy cane.
Candy canes #3: Person A gets arrested for handing out free candy canes to kids and Person B has to bail him/her out. But Person B doesn’t bail person A out and Person A spends Christmas in jail. They never see each other again.
Christmas tree #1: Your characters buy a tree for their flat, but unfortunately it’s infested with spiders. Both of your characters are afraid of insects and none of them is willing to either get rid of the spiders or the tree. They spend Christmas in a hotel room.
Christmas tree #2: Person A ties person b up in a Christmas tree and forgets all about him/her because person a becomes busy preparing Christmas dinner. Person B is not happy about it. It’s their last Christmas together.
Christmas ornaments: Person A tells person B that he/she will spend the evening on making Christmas ornaments. Person B comes home earlier that day, only to find person A playing with person B’s best friend’s balls.
Fireworks: Character A decides to prepare a small firework show for character B. Unfortunately, they get is a ticket for disrupting curfew and scaring animals living in the park.
Snow: Your characters’ car get caught in a snow storm. It’s a not a cute fic wherein your characters cuddle/share body heat/shag and survive the cold night. Let’s be real here. It’s too cold and they die.
Wet socks: person A has wet socks and forgets to change them, which results in a cold. It’s not cute or adorable and there’s nothing nice about it. Instead of leading to person B fussing over person A, it leads to general annoyance and misery on both parts.
Wrapping paper: person B’s cat destroys all the wrapping paper in the house. Because fuck you, that’s why.
(515): Why can’t we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
616. The hedgehog can never be buggered at all and is, in fact, a kind of flower. (suggested by end-users-suck)